Can you feel your heart beat racing?

new livejournal as I'm bored
http://www.livejournal.com/users/dierockstardie/

bye

Summer Ball last night was alright I decided I hated the £100 dress I bought in london so much that I wasn't going to wear it so wore my funky flower print cotton sundress from hennes xcheapxcorex!
It was very strange seeing all the guys suited up, Dan looked so good and he kinda fell in love with his suit after bitching about having to dress smart. We got there at just gone 8 and hung out at the bar waiting for Rob, me and Nandi made multiple trips to the chocolate fountain as it was FREE
When Rob arrived we went on the bumper cars which was so fun, grabbed some food went to the cocktail tent where I drank lots of strawberry margaritas, we watched THE ALAN FLECHTURE BAND which was such a laugh as he was doing all old stuff like the monkees, oasis etc got a posh photo. I saw CJJ and ollie in crosslands and had a chat to them cjj was hammered and told me I looked 'really pretty tonight' however this was slightly mared by the fact he sounded so shocked when he said it and then told me he was 'really drunk and to forget any conversations i had with him'. We spent most of the night on the bumper cars where I bumped into Jenny and Emma who had brought Bev along with her (seeing them poshed up was incredibly surreal) or keeping warm in crosslands as it was so damn cold. Me Dan and Stephen left at about 3 as by then it had got kinda boring as there wasn't really much else to do. I got woken up at 7 by someone singing Beat It ridiculously loudly and Alexia having a party in her room but managed to get a few more hours sleep.
It's Kevin's last night here tonight so I think we're going to try and do something fun to say goodbye to him.

yeah I have been absent of late but no need to panic as i'm back now :s
This week has been ridiculously busy, today and yesterday have been spent sorting out EVERYTHING for freshers fair in the studio, I was there for about 7 hours yesterday which was so tiriing but I still decided to go to medicine with the board and then the union with dan, stephen, rob, nandi and mr chris. It was such a blast as it was indie night and Joel and Ed knowles were djing so their set was so much fun. I drank a lot of vodka and danced my socks off. I had a total blast but it made getting up this morning horrible especially as my shower broke, I couldn't get the thing to turn off so it was on for about 7 hours until someone finally came down to fix it.
The rest of the week was busy but much much fun. On tuesday we went up to the lake at virginia water for a picnic and just hung out together which wwas a total blast, we played frisbee and football and aiaki and hide and seek. plus I got a bit tanned :D hurray. Monday i was lazy until i went to the dopamine/aconite show in camden which again was fun fun fun. apart from the blacking out and missing the end of aconite's set but I got the single for only £2! and finally got a dopamine hoodie whoo
Tomorrow is summer ball which should be the funning even though I hate my dress. I will be dead but 6 am but want my champagne breakfast.
Oh and my birthday last week was fun, I got much cake and so many cards that I felt really special.

I am actually addicted to peanut butter on toast, it's all i've eaten of late.
This weekend has been so uneventfull I have done NOTHING. I'm trying to decide if I want to trek into Camden later or not, on the plus side Dopamine!!! on the negative side I think the trains are as usual totally screwy. I expect I will attempt to mission it in.
I actually planned the show this week, usually I totally wing it and steal all dans CDs but this week (check me out) I made a mix CD of stuff to play, arranged a theme (literature) organised my reviews and even printed some additional stuff off t'internet to use. AND it paid off Chris was doing production type stuff and after the show was showing me how to log my links (basically anything you say) and told me some of the links I'd done today was really good and the infomation I was giving out was good. Yay go me, it means a lot that he thinks that as he's been at the station for three years now and is in effect my boss as he's station manager so the fact that he thinks what i do is good means it must be good, especially as I always worry that my stuff is shit.
It's weird as when I started there I was so nervous and terrified of talking into the mic and even my first solo show I was shitting myself but now it's a piece of piss and comes really naturally to me.
I have three weeks of term left, this scares me as then it's the summer and I have to actually get me a job etc

I was so tired today that I almost fell asleep during some like it hot which is an unknown for me so I decided to go to bed early and try to sleep. I cannot sleep now.
The people in the room above me are having long noisy sex and the bed is banging on my ceiling.

I sometimes worry that the two of us our so different that it will get in the way, just stuff like going away in the summer, we want such different things from life is that going to mess up a holiday?
I think far too much

Life is kinda shit boring at the moment. Everyone is either away or busy doing 'coupley' stuff. It's kinda irratating as I know stephe and nandi, and rob and flavia won't see each other all summer but they won't see me either (which sounds so bratty but I'm going to miss them)
It's just when they hang out it's very two people only, me and Dan always do stuff that includes other people, like when we watch a DVD everyone is invited or we invite everyone to the pub etc. I don't mean to whine but it seems the only person I've really seen this last week or so is Dan (who I love don't get me wrong) but I would like to see everyone else before the end of term.

On a happpier note i should be able to get part time work in Monsoon over the summer if my mum hands in my CV to them whooo! so fingers crossed for staff discount on pretty clothes.

Oh and monday = Avenged Sevenfold. I am so metal.

Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 20 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 4: Add what you think of each song after you type the list of songs.

1. Hondo Maclean- Weightless
I love Hondo an immense amount, this song has kinda a mellowed out vibe to it. Listening to Hondo makes me yhink of seeing them at the barfly last year and the fun I had with Clem and how weird she got. It also reminds me of Dan and seeing FFAF with him Stephen and Chris. Which makes me think of mine and Dan's Gareth interview.

2. The Bled- Nothing We Say Leaves This Room
I'm not actually sure if I like the bled all that much, they're one of those bands that get so much points from other people that I feel obliged to like them more than I actually do, kinda like I used to feel with Glassjaw. I may grow to love this band though.

3. Jerry Cantrell- Solitude
oh my gosh I haven't listen to this album in so long. I used to love it so much, it reminds me of lying by the pool in tunisia listening to it on my cd player. unfortunatly that was kinda a crap time for me but i always really enjoyed putting some jerry on. i was never a massive a.i.c fan though.

4. The Libertines- The Good Old Days
This is one of the few libertines songs I adore, i think it's for the line 'if you've lost your faith in love and music the end won't be long' which seems to poingnant when you look at the fate of the band and for me sums up my attitude to life. it's only in the past 6 months that i've got into the libertines and this song reminds me of me and laura dancing round the studio to this and special needs.

5. Foo Fighters- Walking After You
one of the prettiest foos songs and it has such a cool video. it makes me think of Zoe and her Dave love and of seeing them at V with Stephanie a few years back. it also reminds me of that total pure feeling you get when you're in love with someone and would follow them to the end of the world. it makes me think of lying out in a massive field in the summer with peace surrounding you

6. 36 Crazyfists- The Heart and The Shape
sooo metal haha, nah I really love this band and this song especially makes me think of pits, being hot and sweaty and crushed against barriers at the forum. I love the stage presence brock has even if his name is stupid. their early stuff makes me think of year 11 and all the shit i felt back then but it also makes me think hurrah I am so much happier now I am not being stupid about life and myself.

7. Kinesis- Everything Destroys Itself
ah kinesis what ever happened to them? such politically minded young chappies. they remind me of zoe and me getting stranded on my way back from thursday as i was going to meet up with her as she was seeing kinesis that night but i didn't and ended up stranded in theb middle of nowhere at 2 in the morning on a school night! ohshockhorror! it also makes me think of getting drunk in the man in the moon with zoe and her serafin chronies

8. AFI- He Who Laughs Last
not sure how much I actually like AFI mainly as I know so many shitty people that seem to want to bum them but they still seem to have a lot of stuff I rather like and they are so Tim Burton really when you think about it. this is definatly not my favorite of their songs in fact I don't even know if I actually like it as I've hardly listened to it.

9. The Beach Boys- California Girls
how anyone can not love this band and their feel good summer vibes is beyond me, I wish I was at glasto this year to see Brian Wilson but sadly it is not to be. This song makes me want to put my bikini on and go hang out at the beach all day before hitting a dinner in the evening :)

10. Beecher- Dead For Weeks
this band scare me a little, they are very loud and pissed off, I tend to play them when I am overly angry. They are damn good though despite the ridiculous heavyness of them for me. I just realised I sound like I'm 14 there.

11. Maroon 5- Harder To Breathe
I'll admit it i only bought the album for 'This Love' but it is still a nice catchy faux rock album with some funky dancable stuff on it. I got the cd for a quid in thailand and it reminds me of looking through box after box of cds in thai shops.

12. The Beatles- The Long and Winding Road
you have got to love the beatles, this song is so chilled out and like all their songs is a classic. the beatles will always remind me of this first year at uni as it's only since getting here that i've really falled for them. there's just something outstanding about them. this reminds also reminds me of being in the studio and chilling out in my room with milkshakes.

13. Feeder- Comfort In Sound
I miss John, he was the first person whose death I cried about apart from family members. this song is so full of hope though and it's got that 'music makes it all ok' thing that i love.I miss the old more 'rock' feeder though.

14. The Distillers- Lordy Lordy
one of the first 'punk' band I fell in love with, I love their fuck you attitude and sing sing.. always makes me think of NYC and of hanging out with Vishal discussing old punk bands

15. The Clash- The Guns Of Brixton
mmm joe strummer sounds, a real punk band, catchy and political what more could you want. I'm getting bored of this game now.

16. From First To Last- Ride the Wings Of Pestilence
soo scene, this band makes me think of all the scene kiddies at GIAN. The lyrics in this song are messed up though, some of it is seriously nasty

17. Brand New- Jude Law And A Semester Abroad
Ahhhh brand new whom I now love more than I thought possible. I'll admit that the first time I heard the second album i hated it but now I couldn't live without it. This song reminds me of good times, shame it turned out that the people were such shites. But this song is so upbeat and sing your heart out.

18. Blondie- Atomic
Debbie Harry is just the epitome of coolness, she is one of my idols, I want to be just like her when I grow up. Seriously. this song is just 'mazing to dance round your room to unless you have no sense of fun. or like a broken leg.

19. Elliot Smith- Angels
this voice makes my heart melt. it's so sad about his death/suicide as he made the most beautiful music in the world. just every thing about the music makes me want to cry with sadness and happiness at the same time.


20.BoySetsFire- Rookie of the Year
an actual hardcore band that I can listen to and not pretend I'm enjoying it more than I am.hahaha. nah I love this band i dunno why they just do some thing that makes my heart go BANG. It's like intelligant rage or something that sounds less shit than that.

see my music :)

well not really but yesterday i did.
Me and Dan had to get up early to go so I was tired but walking to London Zoo woke me up.
The first thing we saw were the chimps

It looked really happy when it turned round then it's face fell when it realised it was us there.
We then saw the Gibbons who were attention seeking whores

Then we found this

The next thing we saw was the most destructive animal on the planet!


We went to hang out in the kids zoo and the petting area where a goat fell in love with Dan

I fear the love was recipricated


The goat kinda liked me


Dan then tried to steal a sheep (he claims he was merely hugginh it but I'm not so sure)


We hung out with the Squirral Monkeys



We saw a fish that looked almost as pouty as Ian Watkins


I liked the otters best

Dan liked the meercats


We saw some moustacioed pigs

and a pig in mud


we also saw giraffes and lions



all in all it was a fun day. London zoo rocks everyone should visit there.

My legs hurt.
This is because I spent 7 hours trawling london for a dress. Topshop had some really nice ones but I was being too picky so me and dan did all of Oxford Street. twice. Covent garden and leicester square. I finally found one but I dunno if I like it. I did buy some cool sparkly shoes to go with it though.
It was mainly fun and we found a Jack Skellington figure in Virgin which I bought for Dan so we watched Nightmare when we got in. And sang along to the songs as we are geeks. Dan got a black zip hoodie and he looks soooo nice in it, makes me go all butterfly in my stomach-ey when he wears it.
I think today I am taking part in a pizza eating contest, I will loose though as it's with Stephen, Kevin and Dan so I'll eat about half as much knowing me.

I am such a loser, I get so enthusiastic about being part of Insanity (the uni radio station) and then when I get on the board I'm too damn shy to say anything in the meetings unless asked. I am getting a little better though. Today I actually spoke and disclosed infomation about myself as opposed to just saying what we should do with the station etc.
It's really annoying that the handover date is the same day as Dopamine as it means I'm missing raft building plus picnic with massive amounts of booze and then hitting the union that night. Dopamine will be fun but I am seeing them hopefully this sunday and then on the 30 so do I really need to see them a third time in a matter of weeks. I'll have to make my mind up soon as I think they want numbers asap gaahh.
Oh and people need to stop me buying shoes on ebay. It is a bad bad idea.

Exams are finally over which makes me very very happy. However I was not able to celebrate in drunken style last night as I've only gone and gotten ill. Great timing eh? So I got to spend today in bed half asleep, I'm not that ill but I'm all fluey coldey. I'm such a drama queen. Hopefully I'll be feeling better by tuesday as I have to find myself a dress for Summer Ball plus I need some more shoes, okay more want than need.
I found out that I'm spending two weeks in Sri Lanka this August which is going to be aceness. I really cannot wait to go as I had soo much fun in Thailand last summer so hopefully it'll be just as good. Only downer is it'll just be me, my mum and dad so I may be a little lonely but still Sri Lanker!!!!
I have a feeling my birthday will be crap this year, Stephen, Nandi and Kat are away so that's most of my friends not around BUT I do get to see Jack Dee the night before and Dopamine the night after.
It's odd to think my first year at uni is pretty much over though. It's gone sooo damn fast I really don't want it to end.
Oh and JEW pulling out of Reading actually blows.

I have done very little this week except shit myself about exams. not literrally though.

I tried revising for the rest of the week and then had my first exam friday which was ok not great but not terrible. Went to see Kingdom of Heaven in the evening which was surprisingly good. Can't actually remember what I did yesterday apart from go to the pub in the evening with Dan Rob and Stephen (who has sold out fully and is on the spirits now). When I went back to Dan's I got really sad, I dunno why really apart from I REALLY miss my mum and dad at the moment, my exams are really stressing me out and I'm worrying myself sick about at least 2 people. Today I went into the studio and had a nice chat to chris as he was in there before I was on. It was cool as I don't really know him all that well but he seems really nice and was really sympathetic about my exams and said if I can't make the board meeting next week I don't have to as I have 2 exams the next day. I'll still go though as I will need the break from revision.

Yeah my week has been overly uneventful.

Jeez, the studio was so hot today, even with all the windows open and the fan on I was still boiling and it wasn't even like it was packed with people as I was the only one on the show today. It was good though, I like doing it on my own as it means I can just play Madonna and ACDC as much as I want. I watched Man on Fire again last nigt. i love that film sooo much.
GIAN tomorrow, I cannot wait.
plus gareth wants to see a copy of the article so I really have to start transcribing that now eeeek.

After finally getting my essay done yesterday (despite it being way under the word limit and total shite) I had a good evening, me and Dan sat outside in the sunshine before going to Weatherspoons for CHEAP food, I ate soo much I almost threw up haha. We walked around staines and sat on a bench in the sunshine before going into the cinema to dee Hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy. It was really good, much better than I thoight it would be, they stick very nicely to the original book/radio/tv storylines, which I guess made sense as Douglas wrote the screen play. Marvin was excellent, I think Dan fell in love with him lol. The best bits were the factory floor scene and the bit with the mice
'who cares about love we want to be famous, take his brain take his brain!......Bollocks'
I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to the next one which I do not doubt they will do. I was surprised how well it worked with three Americans playing lead roles as it is such a british thing but mos def, sam rockwell and zooey dsechannel were all really good. I really recommend going to see it.

I had the nicest longest sleep last night as when we got back no one was around so I went to dans for a bit before falling almost straight asleep at mine. it was goood

I have a 2500 word essay due in tomorrow about the presocratic philosophers, I have had this essay for over a month. So far I have written the title. This is not good.

I'm really starting to stress about my exams as I don't want a repeat of AS year where I did alright though-out the year but totally died in the exams. I'm not feeling at all motivated to revise and my first one is a week tomorrow. I think next week I am putting my beloved 'pooter in Dan's room as it'll be one less distraction .

On a more fun note me and Dan went for a late night walk yesterday eveing and discovered the posh houses in Egham and wait for it......allotments, we were going to keep on walking but decided to turn back and go to the shop for fake cake which we demolished at his. We ate a lot of cake and we had eaten cheesecake for lunch *fatties* hahah

Insanity are at medicine this afternoon till closing so I will probably head down for an hour or so, yet another excuse to not do work

Madonna makes it all ok though

I FINALLY have teh internet in my room, so expect random whoreage at random hours in the day. i am now so happy. It's atrocious timgin seeing as my exams start friday next week!
Yesterday I watched Desperatly Seeking Susan then went into Staines and ended up buying The Immaculate Collection, so am on a massive Madonna kick.
Me and Dan had the funniest evening, he makes me laugh more than anyone in the world,I can't describe how but just everytime I feel like crap he does something silly and has me in hysterics.
Oh and I have a place to stay in Birmingham if I go see FFAF as I'm letting Paul (who I've met once at a house party)crash at mine after GIAN with his mate and he said if I ever needed a place in B'ham I'm welcome at his. SCORE.

I love this band so much, even more than I used to.
Friday driving to Cardiff was NOt fun, 3 hours in a car with stephen and Daniel = me sleeping. We ledft at about 12:40 and got to (a very wet) Cardiff at 3:30 watched some TV, grabbed Chris and drove to Blackwood which is a total pit, there is nothing there. We ate horrible chips and then Chris and Steve went to weatherspoons while me and Dan went hunting fot Doug. We never found him but after waiting in reception for about half an hour the lushness of Gareth came down stairs and introduced himself (cos yeah I need telling who he his)
Anyway we heading into some weird diniing room type thing and starrted the interview. He was an absolute sweetheart. I love that boy so much more than I used to. He was soooo chatty and the band are obviously in love with the new album and cannot wait to be touring again. We spoke to him for almost an hour!!! and only ended it all as we ran out of questions.
Hightlights included
an almost offer of staying at his,
dan:yeah i think we're sleeping on the floor tonight
G: well i'd offer you a bad if my couch wasn't about [ ]this big

finding out he likes Anberlin too
some really cool news about GIAN
being able to inform him about a band as opposed to the other way round, even if that band was fighstar
finding out he's getting married in september (this saddens me hahah)
not throwing up on him like I had visions of doing
the whole thing feeling like a chat with a mate.

WEhen we'd finished I ditched my stuff in the car and we went back inside to watch the Blackout who were ok.I checked out the merch and got a ffaf belt. We saw most of the guys from 'prophets in the bar. I love them sooo much but these days they just look like such total tits, even stu who had toni-and-guy-gone-wrong hair. I walked into the guys loos by mistake. We watched a semi naked Hondo set which was good. I nipped back into the bar for a drink and saw Gareth again and aslked for a pic to go with the interview, not intending to be in it myslef but he grabbed me so I was. he complimented my camera :) watched the rest of hondo. Took Chris to find ear plugs at the merch table where some fat welsh guy told me to stick my tongue in one ear and a finger in the other so i told him to fuck off. under my breathe.
FFAF came on and killed. The new stuff sounds really really good. It wasn't the best show I've seen of theirs but they're out of practise and they were still brilliant. Me and Dan have decided to go see them in Cardiff in the summer but I've realised I'm at Oasis that night so I'll have to stick with the london dates and possibly Birmingham.
We got the bus back on Saturday whichwas boring. So i slept.
In short. I fucking love ffaf sooo damn much. Gareth is a total sweetie.

I was reading my old journal when I came across this (something Alec said to me about a year back)
'some time your going to meet the perfect bloke and youre going to fall in love and hes gonna realise that youre the best thing that ever happened to him'
I seriously love Alec to bits for that especially as it's true now, I think he was predicting my future or something. I am so happy at the moment and I didn't even realise it, I've taken far too much for granted in the past few months and I think now is the time to rectify that.

Student Account Details

Account number:
(18-Apr-2005 : 19:59)

Your account is in credit by £ 59.85



Unallocated Credits
04-Apr-2005 00I47223 Runnymede 1 Hall Flat M2 Room M23-Credit for Data Cabling Term 2



Whaey someone actually owes me money as opposed to the other way round for once.
This money will totally justify me buying shoes tomorrow or expensive concealer yay.

So I got my hair cut, I actually almost like it, mainly because I forked out for highlights as well so nearly all the faded pink is gone and I actually look like a blonde again. This makes me very happy.
Plus I managed to find and download a copy of the new FFAF song. This makes me extreamly happy. It's quite a good song from the first listen, I shall listen to it on repeat knowing me and give a proper opinion later. It seems kinda short though but pretty good.
I have the house to myself all night which would be good if there was anyone to come share an empty house with me. However everyone is busy so I shall be sad and lonely and sit watching crap friday night TV and eating crap food.
BSM are evil, they still hasve not refunded me the money I asked them to about 3 weeks ago, money amounting to about £160 which I would like very much as I am already overdrawn by about £40. Please would everyone boycott them from now on as they are evil.
In one weeks time I will be sitting chatting to FFAF. I think I may die as I actually have no questions at all so far apart from 'Will you be my mate?'